So in the interest of useless posts, I thought I'd share a short li'l story that I was reminded of earlier.
Awhile back, I was out with some friends (and strangers) and mentioned that I had to go walk the baby - meaning, of course, Daisy. I call her many, many things. Nicknames range from "porcupine" to "pig of hatred", so "baby" is a pretty tame and rather normal one, considering.
A certain stranger didn't particularly like that I referred to my dog as my baby, because it was so incorrect. "She's not your baby. She didn't come out of your vagina, dude." Surely, I cannot argue with that logic. He was so adamant about it that I just let it go. Obviously he felt strongly on the subject, and I didn't really feel like discussing vaginas at that point. I also didn't bring up the irony that he ended his argument by calling me "dude". Too easy.
However... about 5 minutes later, he referred to his poor girlfriend as "baby". (I believe it was a "Hey, baby can you go buy me a beer?", possibly with a smack to said girlfriend's ass.)
So I did what any normal person would do.
I congratulated him on his child, and asked to see his vagina.
Happy long weekend, porcupines!