Saturday, April 7, 2012

I'm Just Another Gear In This Assembly Line

It's Saturday. I'm tired. And busy.

So in the interest of useless posts, I thought I'd share a short li'l story that I was reminded of earlier.

Awhile back, I was out with some friends (and strangers) and mentioned that I had to go walk the baby - meaning, of course, Daisy. I call her many, many things. Nicknames range from "porcupine" to "pig of hatred", so "baby" is a pretty tame and rather normal one, considering.

A certain stranger didn't particularly like that I referred to my dog as my baby, because it was so incorrect. "She's not your baby. She didn't come out of your vagina, dude." Surely, I cannot argue with that logic. He was so adamant about it that I just let it go. Obviously he felt strongly on the subject, and I didn't really feel like discussing vaginas at that point. I also didn't bring up the irony that he ended his argument by calling me "dude". Too easy.

However... about 5 minutes later, he referred to his poor girlfriend as "baby". (I believe it was a "Hey, baby can you go buy me a beer?", possibly with a smack to said girlfriend's ass.)

So I did what any normal person would do. 

I congratulated him on his child, and asked to see his vagina.

Happy long weekend, porcupines!

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