Friday, October 26, 2012

You Were A Vampire, & Baby I'm The Walking Dead

That time of year again.

Ah, Halloween. How I love and loathe you.

I think it was easier when we were children - costumes were somehow simpler. Witches, princesses, ghosts, vampires. The classics.

But now? Well, now we have to be specific things (not counting the "lingerie with animal ears" costumes, of course). Adult costumes are often timely, or very detailed. And we always want 'em to be good.

I have particular costumes in my head that I've always wanted to do, but have never done them. I wait too long. I'm not crafty. And, really, I'm just lazy.

This year I have three different shin-digs (yeah, I said shin-digs) that I'll need to dress up for. I only have a costume on-hand for one of 'em. One outta three? Not so good, Al.

So, give me your thoughts. I need something for Tuesday Oct 30th at Rancho Relaxo to see Seas (which you should all come to, as the usually 4-piece band is turning into a 6-piece, aka "Broken Social Seas". Two drum kits. Three guitars.) And, of course, I need something for tonight at Velvet Underground for our kickass Halloween party: A Nightmare On Queen St. (which I already assume you're coming to, because you're smart).

No costumes have worked out thus far - couldn't find a red wig, all good Wonder Woman outfits were way too big, white pleather dresses aren't common, I was only born with two legs, etc, etc...

As usual, I turn to you. Help your Rambler. Give me some ideas.

Luckily Pigdog already has her costume all figured out.

She's me. But way better.

Happy Halloween-adjacent-weekend, freaks!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Everything I Love Gets Lost In Drawers

As everyone knows, I'm a huge proponent of rescuing dogs. Daisy is a rescue, Jack is a rescue, and any dog I have in the future will be a rescue. If I had the time, space, and money, I'd rescue every dog that needed it - some of the stories I come across absolutely break my heart.

But since I don't have the means to take them all in, the second best thing is to spread the word.

Pedigree launched the fifth annual Pedigree Adoption Drive last month (along with Shawn Desman), to help shelter animals find good homes. The campaign will donate a portion of proceeds from specially-marked bags to 30 Canadian dog shelters.

Added to that, they've given me information on one of the shelter dogs to spread the word and hopefully help find this little guy a new home.

So meet Banger, a sweet boy from Edmonton :

Adopt me!

Name: Banger
Breed: Border Collie / Labrador Retriever mix
Age: 3
Location:  Edmonton Humane Society
Shawna Randolph
136210-163 St. NW
Edmonton, Alberta

Banger’s Story:
Banger is a neutered 3 year old male Border Collie mix who sadly was surrendered to the Edmonton Humane Society's animal shelter on September 3rd when his former owners could no longer afford to care for him anymore.  Banger thinks everything is fun, interesting and meant for play.  Life with him will keep his new owners constantly on their toes.   He is very clever and knows how to sit, lay down, fetch, stay, come, and shake either paw!  Banger loves to play fetch and will chase and retrieve a ball for a long time. He will need an active home that has family members who can spend a lot of time playing with him and teaching him new tricks.  Banger is a little overweight and will need a strict diet and daily exercise to help get back to a healthy weight.

If you are interested in getting more information on Banger, please contact the Edmonton Humane Society at 780-491-3500.

Another one I'd adopt if I could.

If you or someone you know adopts through this program, I'd love to hear about it.

Please spread the word & help find Banger and other dogs new, loving homes.

Friday, October 19, 2012

You Got Sick Of The Patterns, & I Got Lost In This Song

Curently in Niagara -  visiting the folks, getting my hair done, & going to the wedding of two friends. And working. Lots of working.

As is my luck, my laptop crashed as soon as I got here. Not so good for the amount of work I needed to do, but luckily my dad is some kinda genius and managed to fix it. So huzzah! I'm back. Which is good, cuz I've got something fun for you guys.

The Heart & Stroke Foundation is attempting to break the Guinness World Record for most people trained in CPR. To do this, they're holding an event at Canada's Wonderland's Halloween Haunt on October 25th. Everyone who participates in the 30 minute training session gets access to all the rides at the Haunt. Entry is $14.99 (so, 60% off of a regular ticket to the Halloween Haunt), and you get to help break a record and go on some rides. Not too shabby, right? To be part of it, purchase your tickets here.

Now we all know I'm a huge chickenshit, scared of zombies and pretty much everything else, but here's the HSF's latest viral PSA, using zombies to get their message across:

And just  because they're awesome, they've given me two tickets to give away to one of my bloggy blog readers. Wanna win?

All you have to do is get on the ol' Twittermachine and tweet: I want @ShambledRambler to get me to the Halloween Haunt - to learn to save lives, then get on some rides!

But if you're not on Twitter, you can comment below and let me know the one thing that you're most scared of (yes, I want you to make me feel better about my infinite fears. So?).

For two entries to the contest, do both!

Good luck from me and my Zombie Dogs.

And speaking of Halloween related things... you also have a party to attend:

A Nightmare on Queen St.

All the info is here. Costumes contests, prizes, drink swag.... I'll see you there.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Got My Indignation, But I'm Pure In All My Thoughts

I want a sidekick. That's a normal thing, right?

And before you dog-people get on my ass, yes... Daisy is my sidekick. But sometimes human sidekicks are needed. Opposable thumbs are handy. As is the ability to speak.

I want one for day-to-day stuff. Events, meetings, errands.  Someone to bounce ideas off of, who can tell me "Kris... you need another coffee before you say anything stupid. Again.".

And for those days when I have to fight crime, every superhero needs a sidekick.

I want a Salt to my Pepa,  a Barney to my Fred, a Spock to my Kirk, a set of hair extensions to a Kardashian.

And who doesn't want a Cameron to their Ferris Bueller?

But I don't have a human sidekick. So until I do, this chick will just have to suffice.

She's the Page to my Plant, after all.

Ah hell, I'll just hire an assistant. Problem solved.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Call Me A Dog

I have a message for dog owners.

Not all dog owners, just the ones who haven't yet grasped a particular concept.

This is a dog:

This is a dog owner:

This is a leash, held by a dog owner:

This is a dog, wearing a leash, put on by the dog owner:


See how simple that was?

(If you are confused, please read from the top once more.)

It's very easy to put a leash on a dog, and hell - it's law. While some owners think it's awful to make their dogs wear leashes in public, some of us are ok with it. For many, our dogs are one rogue squirrel away from running right into traffic.

Thing is, a lot of dogs can get growly when they are leashed and an un-leashed dogs comes along. It's normal. And yet, the owners of these dogs always say "Oh, it's ok! My dog is friendly". Famous last words before your friendly dog bites mine. Why? Because it wasn't on a leash, and the owner couldn't control it.

So, please. Put a damn leash on your dog. They exist for a reason.

And if you're so against leashes, huzzah! You're lucky to live in Toronto.

Off-leashes are all over the city.

So until you see that sign above, please leash up your dog. Because while your dog is "friendly, perfect, wonderful, can speak 5 languages, & wouldn't hurt a fly"... other dogs might see it differently.


Friday, October 5, 2012

It's So Evil, My Love, The Way You've No Reverence For My Concern

If you can recall, it wasn't all that long ago when I found a slew of Facebook, Twitter, Plentyoffish, blogs, and other accounts all using my photos and/or blog posts and passing both off as their own.

And if you don't remember (or you're new to the blawg - hi, hey, hello!), it's all well-documented:

It started with this one, then more were found, but then a crapload of creeps were discovered using my pics and info, and then another one who got a bit too personal.

Well, the last one returned.

It came to my attention that she had re-opened her Facebook account and was using my photos again. To make matters worse, she created an account as her "mother", using an old photo of me and my own mom as the profile photo. Sickening.

Yet again, awesome people helped me out and reported her to the Facebook powers that be. Surely they take down the accounts that are so obviously using someone else's image and property, right?

Well, yes and no.

They seem to have taken down the account pretending to be me, but refuse to remove the one with a photo of my mother. The best they can do (maybe) is take down the photo if I report it enough. So, please - report this person's photo.

All of this coming up yet again makes me stop and think... what exactly is the value of using a stranger's photos and words as your own?

The bottom line is that there is no value - none at all. These people have nothing to gain by pretending my image is theirs. I'm nobody; nothing. Just some chick from Toronto. And these are not spam, or "burner accounts" as they're known, they're actual people sourcing my photos and words.

If they were all made by people who know and dislike me, just looking to get a rise, then they've succeeded. But what sad person would go to that trouble? On the other hand, assuming these people are strangers all over the internet, why take on the crazy task of pretending to be someone else? How does that improve your lives in any way? Stop Catfish-ing my image. It will not end well for you.

While it pisses me off and confounds my little brain, it also makes me sad. I'm sad that people like this exist. Because if they have to resort to such strange measures to bring some unknown pleasure into their lives, then they are truly the unfortunate ones here.

That said... to everyone who uses my photos in such a manner (yeah, I know you read my blog), I will continue to find these accounts and make them public. And when the identity theft laws finally catch up to the online world, you'll be getting much more than hate mail from my friends and readers.

I will not stand for this shit, and neither should anyone else.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

This Is My Four Leaf Clover

Aaaand the website is working again.

It's likely that none of you knew this blog was suddenly dysfunctional (in a different way than usual), but it was. Thanks to all the awesome folks who gave me the heads up about the problem they had with it.

Beware the widgets, bloggers!

So, it's a new damn week, new damn month. Still tired from the weekend.

Friday was the Decades Edition of our Full Card Fridays at Velvet Underground.

It is perfectly normal for a woman to steal the shirt off one guy's back and the hat off another's head, and then wear them both proudly.

It's what I do.

 ...and so's that.

Good times were had.

Thanks to those of you who came out, you make our nights awesome every month. 

 And if you dig Halloween, stay tuned - we've got a Halloween party planned on the 26th. Book it!

Saturday night was Nuit Blanche. Some people dig it, some hate it. We headed out, hoping to see some cool stuff and just enjoy walking around the city at all hours. But man... it was insane. We made the mistake of starting out at Yonge & Dundas square, and got stuck in the middle of 8 bajillion annoying people. Couldn't get near any of the Nuit Blanche installations, and continually got banged into, pushed,  etc, etc. I'm too curmudgeonly for this.

So we stopped into the Hard Rock for a much-needed drink, and ended up caught in a bar fight. Had we not moved swiftly to avoid the blows, your Shambled Rambler would likely be black, blue and bloody right now.

That's all I'll say about that. You're all over-Nuit-Blanched, I know. But here is the only photo I took all night, which is kinda saying something:

The rest of the weekend looked like this:

And this:.

And for most of this week I'll be spending time with a new boy that I'm sorta kinda pretty smitten with.

So there's yer unwanted update.

Happy October, ya turkeys.

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