I want a sidekick. That's a normal thing, right?
I want one for day-to-day stuff. Events, meetings, errands. Someone to bounce ideas off of, who can tell me "Kris... you need another coffee before you say anything stupid. Again.".
And for those days when I have to fight crime, every superhero needs a sidekick.
I want a Salt to my Pepa, a Barney to my Fred, a Spock to my Kirk, a set of hair extensions to a Kardashian.
And who doesn't want a Cameron to their Ferris Bueller?
But I don't have a human sidekick. So until I do, this chick will just have to suffice.
She's the Page to my Plant, after all.
Ah hell, I'll just hire an assistant. Problem solved.