Monday, December 24, 2012

Sinatra Was Swinging, All The Drunks They Were Singing

While I've technically already posted my Christmas greeting in video blog form, it's still tradition for me to post this video every year.

So, to you and yours, have a very Merry Christmas and happy holidays.

Friday, December 21, 2012

You're As Cuddly As A Cactus, You're As Charming As An Eel

Just in time for your egg nog hangovers, another video blog is here.

Daisy the Pigdog and I have some holiday wishes for you, a blast-o from Christmas past-o, and Masuka has a question that's got me thinking (a rare thing, I'm aware).

Ho, ho, ho, hosers.

Main background song by Mike Bolt of From The Bridge and Seas

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

And The Vision That Was Planted In My Brain Still Remains

Christmas is in one week.

Excuse me while I repeat that sentence to myself, as I'm not entirely sure I'm convinced.

Most of my life, I've been Christmas obsessed - nutbar crazy at this time of year. Lists, decorations, countdowns, etc, etc... but some years the proverbial "Christmas Spirit" evades me.

This has kinda been one of those years.

So this past weekend, I grabbed a partner-in-crime & did what I could to try to get Christmas-ified.Some of my methods may be different from the norm, but I'm sure you're not surprised.

Guitar stores may not be technically holiday-related, but they bring joy.

Oh yes, they do.

Some of the guitars were downright festive.

And at The Indie Alehouse, there were ten beers a-beerin', and not a single partridge in any pear trees.

Santa wishes for me to drink delicious beer.

But Sunday was the most  traditionally Christmas-y... we went to the Christmas Market in the Distillery District for the first time ever.

That did it.

The lights, the singing, the smells, the food - I was officially in Christmas mode.

I loved it.

And after that, the only thing left to do was to make Christmas Rice Krispies Squares (that I maybe kinda sorta already demolished).

So maybe this year it was harder to get into the season - I'm in it now, and looking forward to it.

And after Christmas, another new year is starting. I'm not one for resolutions, but I know that I want to do more. Try new things. Be an idiot, have fun, be less scared. Already looking forward to a few of my plans, like being a Sambassador for Samba Days (which aligns perfectly with my wish to have new experiences), and kicking The MediaHaus into high gear.

There are things in the works, all around.

Stay tuned.

And Happy Holidays from your favourite Shambled Power Ranger.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Shame On Me For The Ruse, Shame On Me For The Blues

It's been awhile since we heard from our friendly neighbourhood perv, Masuka. He's a busy man, and I've also been too busy to make video blogs that he's always featured in. There's one on the horizon.

But in the meantime, a Masuka question to tide the perv-fans over:

Dear Kristen, 

According to a recent survey, over 90% of women have the wrong sized bra on... And it's usually way too small. Can you explain this to me? I would think you would want to lie and say you have giant big 'uns not sell yourself short.  



Dear Masuka,


From what I have heard, as a regular bra wearer and a female-type person, you are correct. The majority of women are supposedly wearing the wrong sized bra.

But y'see... it's not our fault. Not all bras are created equal. We may be one size according to Victoria's Secret, but another at La Senza. And if your size is a rare one? Well, you're shitta outta luck.

Apparently we should all be getting our breasticles properly sized at fancy shmancy lingerie places, but the last time a sales chick started poking at my parts, I kinda wanted to punch her and yell "PERSONAL SPACE! PERSONAL SPAAAAACE!" and then run away. Maybe that's just me. I also hate shopping, so that's fitting. ("Fitting". There's a bra pun for ya.)

As for lying and saying we're a size or two bigger than we are, that's just silly. It's not about size so much as it's about what they look like, and we all want them to look goshdarn fantastic. And that's why the right fitting bra is important.

I know this. I read it on a pamphlet once.

So there you have it, Masuka. A boob-related blog post, just for you. Now please... stop hanging out in lingerie stores.



Thursday, December 6, 2012

I Wanna Feel The Change Consume Me, Feel The Outside Turning In

Every once in awhile I read articles stating that it's a big "red flag" when a girl has more male friends than female friends. And no, this is not a discussion about whether men and women can just be friends, because as far as I'm concerned that's a circumstantial issue (and yeah - they can). This is strictly about women with male friends.

It's bothered me for a long time and I often defend my views. So, yet again, I hope to dispel some of that absolute nonsense and defend those of us chicks who are just fine being "one of the guys":

I'm female. And yes, most of my friends are male. But there are very good, very logical reasons for it.

Though I'm a girl, I don't often care for typically girly things. I hate shopping. I couldn't care less about current fashion. I know next to nothing about celebrities. I use the same purse all year even if it doesn't match. I don't like nightclubs, other than a rare night with girlfriends. The colour pink, which is apparently the most feminine of all hues, is my mortal enemy.

I'm not implying that all girls like the things I've just listed. I'm merely saying that I do not. The things I do enjoy are quite different.

I like throwing back a few beers and seeing a live band. Hitting a pub and shooting the shit with like-minded people. My brain is perverted, sarcastic, and riddled with four-letter words - I dig conversation with people who are the same, or who appreciate that in another person. I'm more comfortable in a buddy's basement playing rockband than at a fancy party. Heavy music makes me happy.

It just so happens that the majority of things I enjoy tend to be enjoyed by guys more often than girls (and hey - I regularly make friends with girls that like those things, too). It's not a red flag or something to be wary of; it's the reason anyone is friends with anyone.

Simple, right?

I have female friends that are very dear to me, I'd never trade them for anything. But that isn't the point - the point is that somehow it's a negative reflection on me that I tend to have things in common with men. Well, I call bullshit. Bullshit on anyone who thinks that way.

So what if I'm a girl that has a lot of male friends - you make friends with people who share your interests, who you enjoy talking to, spending time with, and who like doing the same things you do. Whether male or female, it does not make one bit of difference. Bottom line.

So whoever sees it as a negative - I'm sorry that you let your insecurities keep you from having real friends, regardless of gender. But, thankfully, I don't have that problem.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Guest Post - Getting Barefoot for Charity at #pedi4cause

Today we've got a guest post from the always awesome Jamie (aka - JamieLeightTO)! She hit the #Pedi4Cause event that I sadly had to miss, and has taken us along for the ride. Thanks Jamie!:

Hi everyone!

Guest blogger, Jamie here to drop some of my own shambled ramblings on you – in my bare feet!


Last week while Kristen was busy kicking internet ass, I was busy taking off my heels and getting pampered. But it was for charity, so if I didn’t do it I would basically be stealing from babies. Babies IN NEED. Or something like that.


I don’t normally take my shoes off at parties, but #pedi4cause was a different kind of party. Hosted by Sharlene Chiu from MTV News, Barefoot Wines and Bubbly invited the media to kick it barefoot with them and enjoy a night of wine and pampering in support of Second Harvest. Second Harvest is a “food rescue” program and the largest of its kind in Canada. Second Harvest works with grocery stores and food manufacturers to pick up excess food and deliver it to community agencies like food banks and community meal programs. In Toronto alone, Second Harvest delivers to more than 215 community agencies.


I have definitely tried Barefoot Wines before (since I’ve basically tried any bottle under $15 at my local LCBO) but I never really see much about the brand in the media. That’s because instead of spending a lot of money on traditional advertising, Barefoot Wines uses a grassroots marketing approach based on community involvement and supporting local charities. They provide wine to over 650 charity events every year.

Barefoot Wines and Bubbly make fruity and flavourful Californian wine in the following varietals: Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, White Zinfandel, Shiraz, Merlot, Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauvignon and Moscato. With each bottle selling for only $10-14 across Canada, the wine is not only delicious but also really affordable.


The next time I’m partying I’ll definitely be thinking about the footprint I leave. I’ll be making more Barefoot footprints in the shape of empty wine bottles – BECAUSE CHARITY, okay?

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