Masuka - So can i make you cry? I wanna make you cry.
Me - No thanks. I'd rather not. I'm certain you could, but I also might punch you if you try.
Masuka - I wonder if i could make you cry without even saying anything? A challenge!
Me - I'm going to punch you. Why would you want to make me cry?
Masuka - I like to see you vulnerable. you always have this big girl wall up
Me - Yeah. So people can't hurt me. But they do anyway, so yay! You don't wanna see me cry. People think they do, until they see it... then they don't know what to do. It seems like a fun project til you actually get me crying.
Ah, the walls. Yes... I have many. Apparently so many that the majority of people in my life have never seen me cry. My own cousin, who I've known and been close with all my life, did not see me cry until 2006. My "big girl walls" as Masuka calls them are there for a reason, as some way of protecting myself - but the reality is that they aren't very effective.
Truth? I'm normal. I cry. When things go bad, I cry constantly and randomly. No control. This past month was a rough one, and the crying became so random that I started to worry about hormones. Surely, something was wrong with me. And there was - the problem is that I feel stuff, guys. I don't mean to alarm you, but it's true. Your ol' pal Kris has these crazy things called "emotions".
So while I often act like I don't give a shit about most things, there's a good chance that I actually do. And my barriers and walls tend to be no more protection than a cardboard fort (and way less fun).
|Normal bitches cry sometimes.|
And Masuka? I'm not crying 'til you do. Take down those big girl walls!