Tuesday, February 5, 2013

You Are Not To Blame For Bittersweet Distractors

A recent email exchange with Masuka got me thinking a bit - why do so many people ask if they can see me cry?:

Masuka - So can i make you cry? I wanna make you cry.

Me - No thanks. I'd rather not. I'm certain you could, but I also might punch you if you try.

Masuka - I wonder if i could make you cry without even saying anything? A challenge!

Me - I'm going to punch you. Why would you want to make me cry?

Masuka - I like to see you vulnerable. you always have this big girl wall up

Me - Yeah. So people can't hurt me. But they do anyway, so yay! You don't wanna see me cry. People think they do, until they see it... then they don't know what to do. It seems like a fun project til you actually get me crying.
So don't.


Ah, the walls. Yes... I have many. Apparently so many that the majority of people in my life have never seen me cry. My own cousin, who I've known and been close with all my life, did not see me cry until 2006. My "big girl walls" as Masuka calls them are there for a reason, as some way of protecting myself - but the reality is that they aren't very effective.

Truth? I'm normal. I cry. When things go bad, I cry constantly and randomly. No control. This past month was a rough one, and the crying became so random that I started to worry about hormones. Surely, something was wrong with me. And there was - the problem is that I feel stuff, guys. I don't mean to alarm you, but it's true. Your ol' pal Kris has these crazy things called "emotions".

So while I often act like I don't give a shit about most things, there's a good chance that I actually do. And my barriers and walls tend to be no more protection than a cardboard fort (and way less fun).

Normal bitches cry sometimes.
But for all the people who have asked me to cry in front of them because the idea of me crying is such a bizarre thing - sorry, it doesn't really work that way. If I allow myself cry in front of you, it means all my walls and barriers are down, and I am actually, honestly vulnerable in front of you (yikes). You must be pretty important. There aren't too many of you.

And Masuka? I'm not crying 'til you do. Take down those big girl walls!


72 comments:

Nick S said...

This resonates with me.

I don't cry EVER. My ex made me cry (first time since '09), and I honestly kind of resent her for it a bit.

My reasons for not doing it are probably different though. That said, I don't look down on anyone for crying, but for me it's a personal decision.

Hope you don't have any reasons to cry today, Kris. :)

Kris Goetz said...

I know what you mean about the resentment. "How dare you make me feel FEELINGS!". Haha.
Funny thing is, I used to not cry at all. Then one day it all changed. There are usually reasons for it, of course, but man... it's weird.

Nick S said...

Well, if I'm self-analyzing a bit, I think it's something like... I like to share my happiness with people, keep my sadness to myself.

Yeah, weird is right. I'm the opposite - I used to cry all the time.

Leah McNulty said...

And when you did cry in front of me, it was so upsetting that I vomited. True story.

Kris Goetz said...

Hahaha, I was gonna include that in the blog but didn't know how to explain it properly. "I'm so sorry that you're sad, and I'm here for you, but can you just hang on a second while I go throw up over there?"

Mike D. said...

Just don't cry on camera cause that would be awkward.

Kris Goetz said...

Eek, I hope that never happens. I don't see how it could, unless someone was secretly taping me.

Christine Pantazis said...

Crying? DOH! Ok, so at home I am totally a cry baby. Commercials, sentimental movie scenes and so on. It's only when extremely hormotional.
That said. I'm not like that in person or in public. I try to keep it on lock down. :D It's ugly. lol

Kris Goetz said...

Same! I cried in public ONCE, years ago... but I ran away to an empty back room (in a bar) so no one would see me. That was a bad night, but I'll never cry in public again.

Dave said...

I haven't been a crier since losing a parent at an early age (10ish). What gets me though are docs like "Dear Zachary". However, tears of joy are often overlooked and here's a great example http://YouTube.be/OOpOhlGiRTM

Anonymous said...

What's up to all, the contents existing at this site are really amazing for people knowledge, well, keep up the nice work fellows.

Review my weblog ... kostenlose rezepte ohne gluten
my site :: Was ist das besondere an der Zöliakie Diät

Anonymous said...

I've been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It's pretty worth enough
for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made
good content as you did, the net will be a lot more useful than ever before.


my homepage World Of Tanks Hack

Anonymous said...

Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if
you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates.
I've been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

my homepage; Starcraft 2 Hack

Anonymous said...

Great post.

Look at my web-site :: diaper rash home remedies

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on recycling facts.
Regards

Anonymous said...

Hey there this is somewhat of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if
you have to manually code with HTML. I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding skills so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

my weblog; social bookmarking service

Anonymous said...

I used to be recommended this website via my cousin.
I am now not sure whether this put up is written by him as no one else
recognize such certain about my trouble. You are amazing!
Thank you!

My homepage :: Download 7zip

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly
appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post
thank you once again.

Also visit my blog post - unknown

Anonymous said...

If you are going for best contents like I do, simply visit this web page everyday as it provides feature contents, thanks

Feel free to surf to my web site unknown

Anonymous said...

What's up friends, good article and pleasant arguments commented here, I am genuinely enjoying by these.

Here is my web blog - Unknown

Anonymous said...

Great post.

Visit my blog post - Unknown

Anonymous said...

Definitely consider that that you said. Your favourite reason seemed to
be at the net the easiest factor to be aware of. I say to you,
I certainly get irked whilst people consider issues that they just
do not realize about. You controlled to hit the nail
upon the top as well as defined out the entire thing with no need side-effects
, other people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.
Thanks

Also visit my webpage :: Mon Jervois

Anonymous said...

Have you ever thought about writing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites?
I have a blog based on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have
you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would
appreciate your work. If you're even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.

My website :: Stretch Marks

Anonymous said...

When I initially commented I clicked the "Notify me when new comments are added" checkbox and now each time a comment is added I
get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
Many thanks!

My web site - girlsblogspot.com

Anonymous said...

It's enormous that you are getting thoughts from this piece of writing as well as from our discussion made at this place.

Also visit my blog post: freebies no surveys

Anonymous said...

Howdy! I understand this is sort of off-topic but I had to ask.
Does running a well-established blog like yours take a large amount of work?
I am completely new to operating a blog but I do write in
my diary daily. I'd like to start a blog so I can easily share my own experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

My blog post: Financial accountant salary

Anonymous said...

Hi there, this weekend is nice in favor of me, because this moment i am reading this wonderful informative article here at my home.


Here is my homepage; quirky Jewellery

Anonymous said...

Hi there to all, how is everything, I think every one is
getting more from this web site, and your views are pleasant in support of new users.


my web page ... Freebies Giveaways

Anonymous said...

Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article. Many thanks for providing this info.


Check out my page - certified Public accountant salary

Anonymous said...

Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I've truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

Here is my web blog; unknown

Anonymous said...

Good answers in return of this issue with firm arguments and describing all on
the topic of that.

Here is my web-site Http://Aquamira.Com

Anonymous said...

It's the best time to make some plans for the longer term and it is time to be happy. I have read this put up and if I may I want to recommend you few attention-grabbing issues or tips. Maybe you can write subsequent articles regarding this article. I wish to learn even more things about it!

Feel free to surf to my webpage :: Unknown

Anonymous said...

This is a topic which is close to my heart.

.. Take care! Where are your contact details though?


Feel free to surf to my blog Unknown

Anonymous said...

Incredible points. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the amazing spirit.


my blog post ... Unknown

Anonymous said...

I think the admin of this website is actually working hard in favor of
his web page, because here every data is quality
based material.

Also visit my blog :: top Market research companies uk

Anonymous said...

Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is excellent, let alone the content!


Review my weblog; Unknown

Anonymous said...

Thank you a lot for sharing this with all people
you actually realize what you are talking approximately!
Bookmarked. Please also discuss with my web site =). We could have a link exchange
arrangement among us

Feel free to visit my web-site ... donimos vouchers

Anonymous said...

Remarkable! Its really awesome post, I have got much clear idea regarding from this paragraph.


Look at my web page - freebies Uk

Anonymous said...

Fine way of explaining, and nice post to get facts about my presentation subject, which i am going to deliver in
college.

Also visit my web page :: Dominos Vouchers

Anonymous said...

It's awesome to pay a quick visit this web page and reading the views of all mates about this article, while I am also keen of getting experience.

Here is my website - dominos Voucher Codes

Anonymous said...

Quality content is the key to invite the people to go
to see the website, that's what this website is providing.

Feel free to visit my blog post generateur De code psn

Anonymous said...

I'm really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one today.

Here is my webpage :: dominos Voucher Codea

Anonymous said...

Wonderful goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you're just too wonderful. I really like what you've acquired here, really like what you are stating and the
way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it smart.
I cant wait to read much more from you. This is actually a wonderful site.


Here is my web blog :: http://cms.egsd.org:80/moodle19/user/View.php?id=76082&course=1

Anonymous said...

Spot on with this write-up, I honestly feel this website needs far
more attention. I'll probably be back again to see more, thanks for the information!

Feel free to visit my blog :: Healthcare Consultancy

Anonymous said...

I'll immediately clutch your rss as I can't find your e-mail subscription hyperlink
or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly permit me recognize so that I may just subscribe.

Thanks.

Stop by my web site; recycling facts

Anonymous said...

I always emailed this website post page to all my contacts, as if like to
read it next my friends will too.

Also visit my web-site :: World Of Tanks Hack

Anonymous said...

Asking questions are genuinely good thing if you are
not understanding anything totally, but this post provides good understanding yet.



Feel free to visit my web blog Http://Microsoftpointss.Tumblr.Com/

Anonymous said...

Hello, Neat post. There is a problem with your site in internet explorer, may check this?
IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a good portion of other people will omit your fantastic
writing because of this problem.

My web blog eco Sanctuary

Anonymous said...

My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different web address and thought I might as well check things out.
I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to
looking over your web page for a second time.


Look at my blog post; Unknown

Anonymous said...

Greetings, There's no doubt that your site might be having web browser compatibility issues. Whenever I look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in IE, it's
got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up!
Aside from that, wonderful blog!

Also visit my weblog :: candy crush saga Hack

Anonymous said...

My coder is trying to persuade me to move
to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs.
But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using WordPress on several websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to
another platform. I have heard great things about
blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my
wordpress content into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!


Feel free to visit my web site :: pirater Un compte facebook

Anonymous said...

Great beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your site,
how can i subscribe for a blog website? The
account helped me a appropriate deal. I have been a little bit familiar of this your broadcast offered brilliant clear idea

Here is my web site ... microsoft Office gratuit

Anonymous said...

Hello, I do think your website may be having web browser compatibility problems.

Whenever I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however
when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues.
I merely wanted to provide you with a quick heads
up! Aside from that, wonderful blog!

Feel free to surf to my weblog - www.Dailymotion.com

Anonymous said...

When I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added
I receive four emails with the exact same comment.
Perhaps there is a means you can remove me from that service?
Thank you!

Also visit my homepage; World Of Tanks Hack

Anonymous said...

Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no backup.
Do you have any solutions to prevent hackers?


My page ... Your Anchor Text

Anonymous said...

Good day! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I'd figured I'd ask.
Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa?
My blog goes over a lot of the same topics as yours and I
feel we could greatly benefit from each other. If you're interested feel free to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Wonderful blog by the way!

Here is my webpage ... email flyer templates

Anonymous said...

I tend not to write a lot of remarks, however after
looking at a few of the comments here "You Are Not To Blame For Bittersweet Distractors".
I actually do have a couple of questions for you if it's okay. Is it simply me or do a few of the comments appear as if they are coming from brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are posting at additional places, I'd like to keep up with you.

Would you post a list of every one of your shared pages like your Facebook
page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

My web page: Dragon City Hack (http://www.youtube.com/)

Anonymous said...

Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it
to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear."
She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside
and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back!
LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!


Here is my webpage; code Psn gratuit

Anonymous said...

Great goods from you, man. I've have in mind your stuff prior to and you're just too wonderful.
I actually like what you have bought right here, certainly like what you are stating
and the way in which you assert it. You're making it enjoyable and you still care for to stay it wise. I can't wait
to learn far more from you. This is actually a tremendous website.



Feel free to surf to my web blog :: psn code generator

Anonymous said...

Having read this I thought it was extremely informative.
I appreciate you finding the time and effort to
put this informative article together. I once again find myself spending a significant
amount of time both reading and posting comments.
But so what, it was still worthwhile!

Feel free to visit my blog post: email Templates Html

Anonymous said...

Hello there, I discovered your website by the use
of Google even as looking for a related topic, your
web site got here up, it seems to be great. I've bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hi there, simply was alert to your blog via Google, and located that it is truly informative. I'm gonna
watch out for brussels. I will be grateful should you
continue this in future. A lot of other people will be benefited from your writing.
Cheers!

my weblog: heroes episodes

Anonymous said...

I loved as much as you'll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

Feel free to surf to my blog - Psn Code Generator

Anonymous said...

I must thank you for the efforts you've put in writing this website. I'm hoping to check out
the same high-grade blog posts by you later on as well.
In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own
site now ;)

Here is my blog post ... fragrant

Anonymous said...

Hello, after reading this amazing piece of writing i
am too happy to share my knowledge here with friends.


Also visit my homepage; Email Announcement Templates

Anonymous said...

Hi there everyone, it's my first pay a quick visit at this website, and piece of writing is in fact fruitful for me, keep up posting such articles or reviews.

my website ... Codes Psn Gratuit

Anonymous said...

Hello colleagues, fastidious article and fastidious arguments commented at this place, I am genuinely enjoying by these.


Feel free to visit my homepage - email templates outlook 2010

Anonymous said...

For the reason that the admin of this site is working, no question very quickly it will be
well-known, due to its quality contents.

my homepage ... outlook email templates :: ::

Anonymous said...

You can certainly see your skills in the work you write.

The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren't afraid to say how they believe. At all times follow your heart.

Here is my blog post; Minecraft Crack

Anonymous said...

Great post. I used to be checking continuously this weblog and I'm inspired! Very useful info specifically the closing part :) I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular info for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

Also visit my webpage ... ps3 jailbreak games download ()

Jason Bryant said...

Articles in this particular section of the blog are actually good.
check username create
Check Brand Product Username
Brand Product Username
social media management

Jason Bryant said...

Many thanks
with regard to sharing useful information. We really enjoyed examining this
kind of posting..

check username create

Check Brand Product Username

Brand Product Username

social media management

accountively said...

There are seven important tips that can help in the management of the business Financial Accountant. The portion of accounting management that plays an important role in overall business growth and development.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...