Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Now You Stand Reborn Before Us All

There's a popular saying that I'm sure you've heard, and it's never really left me:

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

In general, I think it's a fantastic idea. There's nothing more liberating or freeing than facing your fears; that single act can evolve us and make us stronger. Trust me... at one point in time I was scared of everything, probably even you. Especially you.

But for me and people like me, it's a little bit different. It's not quite so simple and straightforward. Due to the ever-looming anxiety disorder, normal, everyday acts become needlessly frightening. So when I think about doing "one thing every day that scares me", I know that I already am. Constantly.

I may get an anxiety attack every time I leave my apartment, but I still need to walk my dog. Still need to go to meetings, be social, get the hell out and be a (mostly) functioning adult. Save for maybe one or two people, phone calls cause attacks. So do new situations, going to new places, and sometimes even the simple act of just waking up in the morning. Most daily activities cause some form of anxiety attack, and that's just life. They're unavoidable.

The severity of each attack varies, and so does the frequency. It's always different, and can be dependent on what else is going on in my life. But no matter what, it's an intrusive pain in the ass... and scary. Yes, scary. 

While I've been making an attempt to face my real fears lately (heights, you're next!), I've realized that this entire time I've been doing many things every single day that scare the hell out of me.

And so I will continue to, even if they never get better.

Are you doing something every day that scares you?


Masuka said...

Let's walk up the CN Tower.

Kris Goetz said...

I'll walk up them, sure. But I won't do EdgeWalk. I have limits.

blepharisma said...


ghost said...

it's only me. don't be scared.

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Kris Goetz said...

Disqus let you comment! Woo hoo!

Kris Goetz said...

Wanna go rock climbing?

Steven Allen Adams said...

Right now my big one is driving. Hell, I get anxious if I'm waking new high traffic.

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