Thursday, January 15, 2015

When We Went To Where We've Been, Was It Just For Self?

After a breakup a long time ago, I immediately went to my desk and wrote myself a note. It said "I Deserve Better" in large letters. Possibly underlined, but I can't recall. I placed this note under my computer screen so I'd be forced to look at it every day and remind myself that I shouldn't settle for any further crap. Ever.

This is a bit embarrassing to explain publicly, I am well aware of that. In fact, later that same day, my cousin came by and I had forgotten to hide the note. So when she saw it sitting there and said "Yeah, you do deserve better.", I felt pretty stupid. (Luckily, she fully understands my stupid. Embraces it, even. Love me, love the stupid.)

She thinks you deserve better.
So while it is embarrassing, I'm sharing it anyway. Why? Because we all deserve better. Ok, ok, maybe rapists, murderers, slow walkers, and all-around general assholes don't. But I mean you guys. The good folks. The regular people. Everyone doing what they need to, just to live some semblance of a life. You deserve better. The problem is that we tend to put that onus on other people to give us better and to treat us better, simply because "we deserve it". But the truth is, we deserve better from ourselves.

Yep, that's right. You deserve better from your damn self. 

It isn't necessarily up to others to show us the respect we deserve, or to treat us well. Hell... it's preferable that they do, but beyond human decency there's no rule that anyone has to. It's up to us to allow bad behaviour, or walk away from it. That goes for almost everything - jobs, relationships, friendships, even family.

Now, I'm not saying this is a blanket rule. We still often deserve better in the situations that aren't within our control. Like from our government. Or the dude making our pizza. Those are gray areas, you can't always call the shots. But for everything else, you deserve whatever you're willing to put up with.

So now we have the fun task of looking at ourselves and some of the crappy decisions we've made (Me? Shitty decisions? Never.). Are there situations you should be walking away from? Things you blame other people for, that could be irrelevant if you just took yourself out of the equation? If so, do it. Erase those who don't give you respect, close the door on relationships that cause more stress than happiness, & get out of bullshit situations that aren't essential - and do all of this for yourself.

Cuz y'know what? You deserve better. (Yeah, you knew I was gonna say that. You frickin' genuis.)

Also, you deserve pizza. But I suppose that's unrelated.

2 comments:

ubermouth said...

I enjoy your style of writing. And laughed at Piggie Smalls! This post also reinforces decisions I made to walk away from certain family members.Thanks

Kris Goetz said...

Thanks! And glad it made sense to you. I'm sure the things I post make no sense to a lot of people.

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